Telling Stories
Ben was a Maker
by his Mom, Pamela 12/30/21
Yesterday, I messaged my friend Leslie Ross this photo and text:
"Remembering our Ben.
Ben welded that little name plate when he was around ten years old. Paolo (Leslie's wizard metal fabrication husband) would have loved him as a studio assistant. Ben could figure out anything and was a true precisionist."
Leslie texted back these wonderful words:
"Beautiful soul. I carry him in my heart always.
Ben was gifted in every subject he explored/ tested/ expanded/ reinvented.
You know that he came to the shop for a whole day once and did a series of practice welds towards the goal of making a tailpipe for his motorcycle. Paolo fitted him with a mask and respirator.
The project was out of Paolo's knowledge field, but he gave Ben instructions on how to begin. Ben went into it with all of his acquired skills and with the conviction and belief that he would be able to realize his vision -- regardless of Paolo's limitations.
He is an example to us an the rest of the world of what true intellectual curiosity really means."
Do you have a 'Ben Story'? Please send your words & pictures here.
Ben's hand-welded metal nameplate is often placed on the dining room table for family occasions as a way to remember his presence in our lives. Fabricated at the age of 10, it is a testament to his artistic and technical focus.
Ben also made this rather charming face sculpture the same year in his welding summer camp at Coyote Central.
Ben's list of "maker projects" is impressive: science projects, go-cart, desk, owl house, garden shed, front arbor, model rocket, crazy Halloween costumes, motorcycle rebuild...and much more.
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the Ben Quilt
blog post by his aunt, Patricia
For what-would-have-been Ben's 25th birthday, his Aunt Patty (twin sister to Mom), arrived with an exquisite quilt made out of the denim jeans and jackets that Ben wore. The quilt is quite heavy, providing warmth and weight to his mourning Mom who loves it along with the ridiculously cute stuffed "Benjamin Bunny" she also received from her generous twin. You can read about Patricia's quilt making and love of Ben in her blog post, here.
"As I worked on the quilt project, I listened to classical cello music as Ben played the cello for most of his short life."
Little Henry, Ben's nephew, also loves Benjamin Bunny!
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Chairs!
by his cousin, Elizabeth
When I think of Ben, I think of chairs. With two twin sisters (my mom and aunt) living two blocks from each other, our families gathered often. Most times, it was all 8 of us - Pam, Gary, Sarah, Ben, Michael, Patty, Vic and Liz. We snowballed other guests in too — friends and neighbors often joined us for dinner.
That’s too many chairs to keep in a main dining area, so we always had to gather chairs from around the house to make it work around the table. And Ben was always willing to help, running up and down the stairs and in and all over the house gathering chairs. It was my least favorite thing to do, but he did it willingly, every time.
No matter what he was doing, if you asked Ben for help with anything, he would put it down without complaint and help. That was Ben — obliging, kind, considerate. He was like that since he was little up until we lost him.
I feel like because Ben never complained, it was difficult to know if anything was wrong if you weren’t paying close attention. I regret all the times I didn’t look carefully enough. Especially near the end — Ben became difficult to talk to and had retreated internally quite a bit. Conversations were short — always sharp and humorous as was his nature — but I wasn’t able to connect with him. I wish I’d tried harder. I wish I hadn’t been content simply by his presence and that he was around to help with things.
There are many takeaways from this loss but the strongest for me are: to embody Ben’s helpful nature by doing more kind things for others without hope of a return. And if I see a friend or loved one detaching, to listen, to examine, to make the extra effort.
We rounded a bend in the river we became aware of the sound of a thundering water ahead. As I sat up to take a look, I was shocked to see that we were suddenly right on top of the class 4 rapid that we had planned not to run until the rest of the group caught up. A big pour-over rock was suddenly dead ahead of us and I yelled for Ben to right-paddle so that we could go to the left of the falls. Ben paddled mightily, but it was no good, too late and he had the weight of a stout adult up front to contend with.
Our progress suddenly halted atop the left side of the huge rock our map told us to avoid, looking down several feet to the river below. Water swirled all around us, we were stuck, but at least we were positioned nose downstream and unlikely to flip. I turned around to see Ben grinning back at me, as if this was all part of the plan all along.
More for myself than for Ben, I shouted back ”We’re gonna be OK!”
We both bounced, and pushed off the rock with our paddles and over we went. Zero points for style, our hearts pounding like crazy, we crashed into the white churn. As we eddied out we both grinned ear to ear.
I left Ben and clambered up to the top of the rapid to motion "left" for the others when they approached. The first was Paul’s raft. Being an experienced rafter, he confidently negotiated the rapid successfully.
The next raft however was a family of four inexperienced rafters with two young children. Their raft was not rigged properly with nothing tied down and two umbrellas loosely propped up for shade. They were on the far right of the river and could not even possibly get to the left. They hung up sideways on the right side of the rock and as the water built up behind the raft it flipped them over the falls. All four of them were In the water, the raft was upside down and all their belongings soon began floating off.
Then I caught a glimpse of Ben in the inflatable kayak further downstream where it was calmer, darting to and fro, scooping up items as they bobbed around. Nobody asked him to do this, he just jumped in and helped out.
He was always doing this kind of thing, that was Ben’s way… kind, polite, thoughtful, and with a clever sense of humor.
This is why, as adults with our own kids Ben’s age, we all liked him so much. He was a joy to be around.
Rafting - Summer 2013
by Dale Chapman
Ben and I were both part of a rafting trip on the middle fork of the Salmon River in 2013.
Wanting a break from rowing a raft, I asked Ben if he’d like to try some kayaking. We both jumped in the inflatable. The next couple of miles the rapids ahead were just challenging enough to be fun but not dangerous, so I let Ben take the aft position. There was only one big rapid ahead, and we planned to eddy-out before we got to it and wait for the others.
Ben was a quick study, and did a great job on about 5 or so class 2-3 rapids.
Ben got a serious injury on the trip - scalding his left foot on a burning coal. He never complained and he did not receive any medical attention until he returned to Seattle.
from Ben's Guitar Teacher
by Jon Pontrello
Ben was so special. I feel lucky to have known him. I will miss him greatly. Here is the video you mentioned, it started out as a recording of him playing electric lead guitar and me playing rhythm guitar, then I added other instruments to it, and made a montage of stock footage. I really love what he played on here.
Me and Ben sent music back and forth to each other periodically. Here is the last one he sent me about a week before he went missing. It's a great piece of music, as Ben had a great ear for quality and originality in music. I can't imagine what you are going through to lose someone as special as Ben.
I made a short play list of the songs Ben sent me. I wish I had more but these were the only links I had. Going back through my text messages and e-mail, he mentioned a John Fahey record that he recently purchased that he had been listening to. I know he loved the song Java Jive by the Ink Spots. We spent some time learning how to play that song together. Ben definitely had an eclectic taste in music. *Nels Cline - Freesia / The Bond (album name: Room) *Robbie Basho - Lost Lagoon Suite (album: The Falconer's Arm I) *Java Jive - Ink Spots
The instrumental music was something I know he liked a lot. He listened to the full albums those tracks were on, the tracks I sent were just the songs he liked the most from those albums. He had also mentioned that he had been listening to a lot of African guitar music,
Not only did he have great taste in music, but also a very original and cool fashion sense. Ben was not only a student for me, he was also teaching me to play the cello, and was my technology advisor and repair person. On multiple occasions he fixed various computers of mine, and took them apart and added new parts to help optimize the work I was doing. I originally got to know him when he bought a guitar at my garage sale a few years ago. Over time as him being a student, and eventually repair person and cello teacher, I was always impressed and surprised by Ben as I got to know him further. ❤️
The only time it occurred to me is he didn't show up one day and just sent me some money on venmo, and a txt that said he was feeling like shit. This was sometime over the summer. It made me think he was suffering in some way. I got the feeling he was struggling to find his place in the world, like most young people do, but I never got the feeling that it was severe.
Wanna hear Ben playing electric guitar with Jon? Check out Jon's
video here.
Ben's acoustic and electric guitars, plus amplifier were gifted to his best buddy, Asa Croatto.
Jon Pontrello wrote the sweet "Ben's Song" after he died. You can hear the music here and in the first photo "collage" in Ben's memorial service.
Hummingbird Ben
by Laurel Rech
The day I found out that Ben had disappeared I was in the house in the morning and there was a hummingbird outside the kitchen patio door. When I looked out the sink window later there was one there near the bare dogwood tree and when I opened the front door to leave a hummingbird was hovering outside that door too. I thought this was quite unusual but beautiful and filled with symbolism although I did not know what it meant. I texted Leslie at work asking if she wanted to go to town hall and when she texted back she was picking up Ben’s car. That omnipresent hummingbird has come to represent Ben to me and I’d like to share his presence with you.
Laurel gave us a beautiful handblown glass hummingbird feeder. You can see it hanging
from a branch at the left of our "Ben Tree."
Notes from Skip Holman
March 24, 2020
{Ben was a doorman at a downtown condo] I loved watching Ben arrive on the garage camera at 1223 Spring Street as it was often on his scooter or motorcycle. He had if I remember right a cool leather jacket, sharp pants and reminded me of Tom Cruise in the 80s. He would usually arrive early and exit back through the garage on foot to go and get a bite before his shift. I too made jokes about how smart Ben was and that he was probably hacking all of my information while I was away from work. The opposite was true though, I completely trusted Ben and loved his ability and willingness to tackle whatever occurred when I was away which he was always capable of. There is a lot of personality in that building most of it positive but not all and I think that Ben's matter-of-fact approach was a perfect fit.
I of course loved seeing Ben at Michael and Patricia's as he grew up and liked his inquiries into my life and others as he looked for his own way. I did also enjoy looking for life-paths for Ben, at least in the short term. Every time I saw some occupation that I thought I would have enjoyed, considered or profited from as a 20-something I would call Ben and say check this out, you can...... and he would always hear me out and was appreciative that I was thinking of him and sometimes would seek out the opportunity.
He also asked me to get him a job where I am currently working. I have only hired one friend since starting there when I have a project that necessitates two people and he is comfortable with me and I him so I always use him when something comes up. Now that Ben is gone I realize that Ben may well have worked just to be around us which could have been a good thing and also that I could have tried harder to find work for him there. I don't think it's as glamorous as he thought but it has been good and Ben would definitely have added to the fabric.
His departure is shocking to the system and continues to be, you are not alone in that. All of us are thinking of missed opportunities, signs that we could have noticed better or just times that we could have stopped and been and listened; even if he wasn't talking. I think it's this way because Ben did interact, Ben did show up, he started and did interesting things and hung out with interesting people so while I know you were concerned because you told me, until very recently it just seemed like (from my perspective) growing pains and nothing that would be so bad that he would want to leave.
A Day with Ben
by George Cerrato (abridged)
My Friend Ben passed away earlier this year. I have known him throughout the 20 something years of his life. He had a gentle presence making him very pleasant company.
I am recalling a pleasant day I spent with Ben recently. It is one of those rare days that leave you strangely satisfied as warm sleep flows in.
Ben and I have a plan to use the fitness room at a condo complex in
downtown Ballard where I own a condo. I met Ben in the early afternoon on a Tuesday. He is ready with the appropriate exercising accoutrements. Ben is very curious about the fitness room and if it has a leg press. I am not sure what he is talking about.
He is very knowledge about this press. It is a free standing rack, he tells me, that allows you to do a free weight bar bell across your shoulders. He goes on to say that you don’t need to have a spotter while you do it because you can just lean into the rack and it will catch the weight. Ben tells me that doing leg presses is a “complete workout.”
The excitement that Ben had for leg pressing is quite charming and the image of this very slight guy wanting to bulk up is also very charming.
We left the conversation of leg pressing, the lack of the press , and the virtues of a “complete workout” behind in good humor to continue our pilgrimage which includes visits to Ballard ReUse, Ballard Consignment, and Skip at his workplace Finally, we arrive at my Condo building.
We go to the second floor and we have arrived. Ben seems pleased with the how the room is outfitted. I mention to him again that there is no leg press. He smiles and does not seem to mind the lack of the complete workout apparatus. There are no other people there.
We manage to use some free weights and a weighted machine. Ben liked the weighted machine that has all sorts of possible combinations. I am pleased that he seems satisfied with the complexity of the machine and the resistance it provides to yield a qualified work out. I then show him the shower.
We both got a good giggle out of this odd set up. The shower is a free standing building in the courtyard. It is separate from the fitness room and you need to go outside to use it. It has no lock on it. We open the door to it not knowing if anyone is in it. It is dark, I turn on the lights. It is one large 18 foot long 10 feet wide room. One end has the shower and the other a heater and folding baby changing table. It would be a decadent space other than that the space seems to have imprisoned itself somehow, and Ben and I shake our heads with an exhale of “Whoa” as we leave the unfortunate prison/prisoner. I still am willing to shower, Ben is not.
At the end of our day together, I muse...how do we find our way through the night as the warm twilight darkens? I believe there is light in each of us that reaches out to others to help guide and comfort. I know from the time I spent with Ben, that he was not alone. He had many spotters, he was surrounded by people, light, all reaching out to him, embarrassing him, loving him.
Ben on his 22nd birthday.
Ben on his 23rd birthday.